Melbourne, Australia

Sophisticated and slick, edgy and rough, Melbourne was the artistic culture of Australia in our eyes, especially when you have the mighty Sam Bonwick making you such amazing coffee! Where did this boy learn his skills? Yes that's skills Sam, you have one!

So flying in from Brisbane just after lunch we were expecting to be met by great friend Sam Bonwick. Legal resident of Australia, ha, let me see those papers! With an unexpected sand storm brewing across the runway just before landing, our flight was delayed and as we circled in the air for over an hour, by the time we landed, Sam was gone. If only we had a phone, this all could have been prevented. Anyway, several intermittent pay phone calls later and we had managed the seemingly bad directions our guest had given us, turning up at Sam's work, we were well worth our lingering hug.

Hungry and in need of some lunch after such a long flight (2 hours I think), Sam had suggested the pizza place next door with their special of Mexican Nacho Pizza. That pizza was superb, layers and layers of Nacho cheese and chili, ummm. Shame that we could only manage two slices each and that when he recommended we get a large one, we didn't realize Sam meant so we could take some home for him! Shocking.

Rocking up at Palais Bonwick we were warmly welcomed by both Sam's girlfriend Megan and Bill with whom they shared the house. That evening we sat around chatting and as we watched TV and played Wii, it soon became apparent how nice it felt to actually be in house instead of a unfamiliar hostel. What was meant to only be a few nights, eventually turned into a couple of weeks. Their warm hospitality obviously being too good to refuse!

Two weeks in Melbourne was a little daunting at first as for the first time in ages we didn't have to cram in everything somewhere had to offer in just three days. So as we sat back, relaxed and took things slow my mind began to wonder exactly how good I was at Tiger Woods Golf. Not that great to say the least, especially not against Bill who was somewhat of a Pro. Constantly highlighting my inability to nail as many birdies as the game's endorser, Bill took great pride in seeing me struggle. I had only just met the man and already he was taking no pity. Can you guess what filled our time for most of our stay?????

When we actually left the house (it took a few days) we actually saw a lot of stuff in Melbourne. Taking the tram into the cities centre on more than one occasion we managed to browse yet more shops and centres, looking for phone sims and clothes, we found our way to Victoria market and even had time to visit several of the cities historical landmarks as we followed the trail around town. Boring for some, not us.

Federation Square and the Flinders St region had so much on offer we spent a whole day there too. A great exhibition at the Australian Centre for Moving image was accompanied by some great live music and also a couple of other gallery views. Breath taking architecture that forms the heart of Melbourne. Whilst here we also visited a pleathora of Melbourne's other suburbs including Richmond, St.Kilda, Chapel St, Fitzroy, Balaclava and many others.

Known for its sports, Melbourne was full of arena's, stadiums and youngsters learning their trade in the city's many parks. Visiting the massive Etihad Stadium, home of the mighty Melbourne Victory and AFL league final was good. Walking alongside the Rod Laver arena, home of the Melbourne Open Tennis was also a highlight, as was that of the MCG. Decided as not really Jo's thing, I spent pretty much a whole day taking a tour of the stadium, checking out the Sports Museum beneath (Shane Warne 3D was ace) and I even got to watch a fair bit of live cricket, all for $25. Bargain!

For the first time on this trip I also did something active. When Sam suggested we enter a team in an annual Beach Soccer Tournament, I jumped at the chance. Shame we ended up being called Melbourne Palace rather than our preferred name of Flip flops, Thongs and Jandals! To say our results mirrored that of our English league namesake is not far from the truth. One win, one lose, we failed to progress to the next round on goal difference. Although the teams top scorer, yes I know me? we failed to win our losers playoff, eventually being given the wooden spoon. Still a few beers and a barbie later, it was all forgotten!

So onto the first of our two main trips. Trip one, the Penguins. Definitely the best thing we did here. As we waited until dusk at 8.14pm that evening in the dripping rain, the anticipation of seeing these little creatures had me so excited. Dead on cue as the seagulls circled, in washed an army of Penguins. Slowly but surely, some a little hesitant, the penguins waddled upon shore. The cutest thing ever. I just wanted to take one home. Shame some people overstepped the mark and disobeyed rules by touching and taking photos. What twats, Jo and Megan let them know of their fury!

Trip two. The Great Ocean Rd. Hiring a car for the day the four of us, Sam, Megan, Jo and I set out on an epic adventure. Past Torquay, our first stop was the world famous surf scene, Bells Beach. It was not to hard to imagine that a few days extra training in Bali on the surfboard that I could indeed be winning a tournament here. Yeah right! As we carried along the amazing winding road, full of great cliff top views and with a strong sea breeze in the air we took in all the areas beauty. A quick stop in Lorne then onto Apollo Bay. We stopped there for a bit before the 12 Apostles. Not all in tact due to natural causes they were still an impressive sight. A great day out was then concluded with a beer and some much needed fish and chips. The perfect ending to such a journey.

Loving our time in Melbourne, it was sad to leave. We can see why Sam is here rather than the UK, especially with so much to do and see and when the weather is as good as it is here, its hard to turn down.

Crossing the great divide, its New Zealand up next for us.

Brisbane, Australia

Finally we get to Brisbane and its our last stop along the ever on-going East Coast, Gold Coast and Sunshine Coast adventure. It maybe Australia's third largest city but our best time here bar our meeting with Colin & Ange, would most definitely be further afield at the best zoo in the world, Australia Zoo.

Over the five days spent here we stayed at a great hostel, Bunk, but with not the best room mates in the world. I mean was it really necessary for the guy in our room to have a midnight feast, every night?!?! Jeez, munch munch at the regular time of 12-1am each night did become slightly annoying.

So, what did we do here? Amongst the constant browsing of shops in all areas of town, (once where Jo sent us in the wrong direction for one and a half hours!), we did do the tour of all the cities art galleries and museums. Well, I say all, we went to three, one was closed and the rest, well... lets just say it wasn't really our thing... strange really but it was just stuff we had seen before, but done a lot better elsewhere. Sorry.

The rest of the Southbank area however was great. Mainly down to the weather the day we went, but also because of the amazing Lagoon pool along the river front. I know these have become common knowledge along the east coast of Australia but every time we see one it just makes the area look amazing and is such a great place to chill out on a lunch hour or in our case, all day! Shame the Muppet's in charge of the London council couldn't take a leaf out of a few books here and build some. Maybe we just don't get enough good weather!

Visiting the Gabba cricket ground was another highlight of our trip in Bris. Although we didn't get to actually go in and watch some cricket, the aura and heritage that surrounded the place was awesome, it really is obvious that it is one of the best cricket grounds in the world! Bit of a walk from town though and me and Jo were sweating by the time we got back.

Most of our nights were spent in the adjoining bar of the hostel, Birdie Num Nums. Great name hey! Anyway, they gave away free food and drinks on most nights and fronted by a lovely lass from Bucks, it managed to occupy our evenings with fun activities such as Bingo, Quiz's and Wii games all for massive prizes! Shame we had done them all before we got here!!!!!!

The one night we did manage to prize our self away from the bar, we were found propped up at a few others in town, along with the presence of Colin & Ange, with whom Colin I used to work with at Trinity St. We enjoyed a great night of drinking and catching up, with it being great to hear exactly what they have been up to. Although Colin took us to a couple of strange venues where I got kicked out of one for wearing shorts. He did compliment himself with his good choice of Australian beers and ales that he forced us to drink. Thanks big man, was great seeing you both again!

So that leaves only one thing left. Austra-aaaa-lia Zoo. What a day, it was amazing. Although we didn't get to see the late Steve Irwin or his wife Terri, or Bindi or Mindi or whatever their called, we did have an experience bettered by no other zoo in the world. Getting to see the Croc's and Roo's up close along with all the animals there was great. The Crocociam, wow! better than most premiership footy grounds. The real highlight here though was getting our photos taken with all the great animals, Koala's, Kangaroo's and in my case a baby Croc! Bonza! A real pleasure and I for one am glad we went and really appreciate what the Irwin family is trying to do here. Don't stop guys, don't stop.

Byron Bay, Australia

So we reached the promised land, but not for long and only just. A six hour bus journey from Surfers where we had to change at Brisbane and put up with an idiot of a driver! Well and we had the commotion of being told we wouldn't have a place to stay in Byron. Yeah right. After a lot of places messing us around and one saying they were full, we eventually ended up staying there. Honestly what a palaver and all this because of those bloody Schoolies!!!!!!

So we arrived and stayed at Nomads Odyssey - the solution to all Flash packer needs. Not quite but this Big Brother decorated hostel were sure kind enough and charged us practically nothing after messing up our booking once more putting us into a room with seven people instead of four! No nut jobs this time.

With time at a premium we managed to cram a hell of a lot of stuff in. We watched Michael Jackson - "This is it" at the cinema, awesome film but with the shitest of female guitar players! We had a great night out at Coco mangoes & Cheeky Monkeys where we drank Champagne (it was on offer) and beers until our hearts were content laughing and giggling at the supposed Mr & Mrs Backpacker. We had some great food out and even managed to visit the beach. It wasn't until the day after and the day of departure that we decided to risk walking to the Lighthouse!

Setting off early across the beach we initially had the desire to see Cape Byron. Built in 1901, the lighthouse was actually a lot further away than it seemed. We didn't actually manage to get all the way there due to time restraints but even so after seeing a few more lizards and possibly the biggest snake I've ever seen (not that I've seen many) we decided to head back home along the beach once more avoiding the ever mounting pills of dead jelly fish. Not so successful in terms of getting to our desired destination but an adventure well worth having.

It would have been nice to have stayed longer here as it is such a great place with such amazing beauty but as we fucked up with Bundaberg it didn't really work out. Nevertheless we did pretty much see most things, I just would have loved to have gone back to see those ever so Cheeky Monkeys once more.

Next stop Brisbane!

Surfers Paradise, Australia (Gold Coast Adventures)

Known as Australia's flashy, trashy venue on the partying Gold Coast, Surfers depicts only one person on earth, Paris Hilton. Although on this visit we didn't actually see her, it soon become very apparent of the place's Vegas esc nature and its lively atmosphere as we arrived into town at around 6pm that evening.

Checking into a flashy Hostel/Hotel called Nomads Islander we dumped our bags and soon made friends with our new room mate Kev who was from that not so far away part of the world, sunny Leeds! A few beers and dinner later and we were soon swapping stories of our Australian Adventures so far.

Getting up early the next morning and making our way to Wet n Wild water park, we soon joined the thousands of people snaking out from the bus stop waiting to get to their desired destination. We knew that it was a nice hot day, but no more sunny than usual. We did however forget that it was the beginning of summer holidays here and that only meant one thing, schoolies!!!!! There was loads of them and Wet n Wild was duly packed.

What a great day though, with so many rides and flumes to experience we managed to go on them all at least once with Jo only wimping out on one occasion. There was the Kamikaze, the Twister, Tornado, Mammoth falls and many more.... awesome! a lot better than the water park in KL!!!!

As the sun went down we arrived back in town, wet and full energy. We really were ready to hit the town running and after a short discussion with Kev to persuade him beer for the night was our only option, we headed out to the bottle shop to stock up on some heavy duty beers and filled our apartment fridge with well over 24 bottles. Result. It wasn't until mid way through the Harry Potter on TV and several beers down we realised we had a fourth room mate. Had he been here sleping all along? who knows but he wasn't at all interested in us. As the night progressed we all decided before we went out it would be a good idea to hack into my ever growing hair. Jo for one was a pleased girl as for a few days not only did I not look like a complete twat but she also won the bet she had with me saying I wouldn't cut it all trip! Oh well, it had to be done. The night ended early and after little discussion we called it a night.

The next day and our last here, we just about had enough time for some much needed shopping, new flip flops - yeh!!! and a trip to the beach. The interesting mecca of the golden sand and blue sea against the the tall skyscraper buildings really did look amazing.

The second attempt was always going to be better and with a few beers left we tucked into a much needed Hungry Jacks before setting out to meet Kev's friend Kat. So not only now did we have Jon & Jo but Kev & Kat to deal with. Never going to forget those names. A few drinks at the aptly named Vegas Bar and then onto an Irish pub in town for live music was again all we could handle as the night ended at around 1am. We really didn't fancy the trashy nightclubs and I for one didn't really have the attire for it. Not sure flip flops as new as they were and shorts would have got me far in this town! Bling Bling was the only way forward!

Rainbow Beach & Fraser Island, Australia (East Coats Adventures)

Ok, so after chilling out for a few days in Hervey Bay we were more than ready for our Fraser adventure. We got to Rainbow Beach early where as part of our trips package we got two nights free stay at a place called Dingo's. When we arrived we had to wait around for a while to check in but once in our new 7 bed dorm we quickly made friends with a nice English girl and two extremely funny German guys.

With intermittent rain clouding the sky's we were forced to check out the beach quickly, unpacking towels and applying sun lotion before packing it all back up again within minutes. Having said that the beach itself for the few minutes we did see its beauty was amazing. Gold sand, lovely scenery and some ice blue clear waters. Believe me they were cold! Coupling this with a browsing of the local shops and a stint at the hostel bar, it pretty much ended our day here before we took the free hostel trip up to the sand dunes that were a little out of town. Slightly hesitant to go at first with fear of more rain, we were glad we went as not only did the sun come out for an amazing sunset but those foot sinking sand dunes were ever so much fun. We had a great night running up and down, rolling round and even caught a glimpse of some guys doing sand boarding. Great times. Back to the hostel for dinner, a beer a piece and some much needed banter before sleep with our new room mates as we prepared for the experience that lay ahead the next day.

Getting up early we were surprised to still see all of our 'Self Drive' tour friends still making the last adjustments to their vehicles before setting of to the Island. We on the other hand could take a little more time getting ready before being picked up for our 'Driven' tour half an hour later. In the end it was definitely something we were glad we paid that little bit extra for.

Ok so what picked us up could only be described as a 4x4 bus truck thing that was so high off the ground it felt like we were flying. The tour guide was awesome and she quickly made everyone at ease by playing some games on the way to the ferry where everybody got to know each other. It was here we found a really friendly couple with whom we had a lot in common called Jim and Laura. They were English.

As we drove up to board our ferry we not only saw one but all of our friends from Dingo's in several different groups struggle to drive on the sand. It was highly amusing seeing them try to push their vehicles big wheels from the ever clutching sand. Ha, something I'm glad we never had to do!

Safely across the sea and onto the Island known by the local Aboriginals as 'K'Gari', meaning paradise, we soon saw what was lying in wait for the rest of the days trip. We hammered it up 75 mile beach aiming to get to our designated Forest walk before lunch so we could get on up to Lake McKenzie in the afternoon. The walk itself was quite nice seeing some great wildlife and taking in the scenery but it was definitely needed after the amount of food we were forced to eat!

With the terrain ever so bumpy and hard to conquer we were glad for the first time, not the last, during the journey that we as paying tourists didn't have to drive. It looked so dangerous and just seeing the cars in front, beside and behind us driven by amateurs bounce around and stupidly fly past just confirmed this.

Arriving at Lake McKenzie we were met with it's sheer beauty. The clear bluey/turquoise waters were endless and so inviting, the sand was white and the place just reeked of paradise. Not for the first time we have said that on this massive trip round the world eh! We spent around an hour here before heading onto our accommodation for the evening, that's right, no tents here, instead we were sheltered from the impending rain by some lovely if not small apartments. Thank god as it started to rain as soon as we got there and even though an evening of much planned drinking lie ahead, I for one am glad I wouldn't be putting up with Jo moaning that we would be sleeping in a tent in the rain!

A great BBQ was cooked by our fearless leader that could have fed an army and then we proceeded to play cards, drink and literally take the piss out of everyone in the team including a strange Irish couple who didn't drink much?!?!, two Japanese girls whose birthday it was, a rather too horny german couple who couldn't keep their hands off each other, some random Scandinavian girls, Jim, Laura, our guide, me and Jo. It truly was a great night, another infused with far too much goon on all parts, not just mine for a change and one which ended with me, Jo, Jim and Laura tucking into the next days food for a midnight snack. No one would know, surely not!

Up at 6am for breakfast and still no one had noticed the biscuits missing or in Jo's case the chunks of cheese with teeth marks in as she stated quite clearly, "I definitely didn't eat any biscuits', yeah right!!!!! With our stomachs full from another massive meal (I'm not complaining by the way) we got washed and dressed and headed off early doors to make the most of the trip. Throughout both days we sore loads of Dingo's and a couple of Iguana lizards but by far the funniest occurrence was when driving to Indian heads that morning when we saw a dingo stealing from a local fisherman's truck on the beach. It was great. It was like he was saying, you catch the fish, put them in the truck and I'll eat them. Thanks you stupid human.

As we arrived at Indian heads I was amazed by how big it was and Jo bless her was wondering how she would get up there in her flip flops. Well at least hers were in one piece, mine on the other hand were falling to pieces at every opportunity, but hey that another story. Once up there wow were there some amazing views. This was probably one of my favourite points on the Island.

Walking down from the steep steps and sharp rocks, we were met with some quizzical looking faces back at the bus as people were eating the remainders of the biscuits with their tea's and coffee's. It was only then that we all admitted to our leader that it was our fault there wasn't enough cookies to go round and it was soon laughed off and we all climbed back on board heading down to the Pinnacles.

I didn't really enjoy the Pinnacles, thinking that they were nothing special and something I had probably seen before. I mean I can see different coloured sands in Cornwall or on the Isle of Wight, I didn't need to come all the way over here. It also however could have been the reason that I was also desperate for the loo that made me miss out on the point of these landmarks.

On to the Maheno shipwreck and with the knowledge of the story behind it being told, all I could still think about was going for a piss, not how amazing it actually was. Quickly taking some photos and wondering around as my need to go pee slowly disappeared, I felt very privileged being there and viewing the great ship wreckage and learning some much need historical facts.

Finally getting down to Lake Wabby before lunch were I managed to actually find the need to use the facilities I once again felt more relaxed in the knowledge that I hadn't actually wet myself. Believe me, I did come close! Anyway, we were advised to try and float down the Lake but not so sure it would work as nobody else was, me, Jo, Jim and Laura decided it best to wade through, avoiding all the little kids jumping and splashing close by.

Yet more food was served and then the long journey back to the boat, getting across the sea. It was one hell of a journey overland, believe Jo as I was by some miracle asleep through the bumping and crashing of the bus as we had to take a massive detour on an old mining road as the tide had blocked all other routes. I was told at the time it got quite scary but me, well i was probably dreaming of something far more peaceful.

Back on dry land and driven back to the hostel, we really did have a great time, met some nice new people and felt as though we really got our moneys worth. Although we maybe missed out on the experience of driving on sand, I'm glad I didn't have to endure my days hungover behind the wheel and don't think I could handle a group of piss heads shouting directions just like I had to in Bali. Thanks, but no thanks.

So with that all over, we had a few beers sharing our stories with others and headed of for a much needed early night. It was now a case of Fraser Island, Done.

Hervey Bay, Australia (East Coast Adventures)

Desperately trying to get anywhere but Bundaberg we ended up here in Hervey Bay for three nights of R&R before embarking on our Fraser Island adventure tour from Rainbow Beach, just down the road. It wasn't really as if we had planned to have this long to rest here but more the fact we had no choice. Lucky enough we had found somewhere we had originally wanted to stay here that was cheap, nice and more importantly gave us something to do.

So getting here with minimal fuss and being asked the question on arrival of what the hell did you want to come here for? we replied to our driver, it was either here or Bundaberg. He soon understood.

Buying some much needed new clothes and underwear we lived three days of almost unspoken paradise with free washing, a double room, TV DVD player and some luxurious Mexican food. The hostel we were staying at even had a great selection of DVDs so no need to sign up to a video shop or rent anything as we had previous planned. Result. We did venture out of the room on a few occasions but with nothing of much note.

To be honest Hervet Bay was all about the relaxation and that was about all we really did here.

Bundaberg, Australia (East Coast Adventures)

Trust me, Jesus saved us with this one!!!!!!! One word about Bundaberg, "SHIT" I'm sorry if that offends anyone but man was this place bad, as soon as we got here we wanted to leave.

We arrived here with the sole intention of getting some fruit picking work for a few days, it didn't happen as apparently you have to do at least a week, ha, as if Jo would have lasted a day!!! Anyway being told that there literally was nowhere to stay and no work in town, we had one last option from a pool of five or so hostels to choose from. The only problem was the person running the hostel worked the strangest of hours, 10-11.30am and then 3-5pm. The time when we got there was... you guessed it 11.45am and we were reduced to sweating in the heat drinking VB from a brown paper bag for over three hours, classy! Honestly what a lazy bitch, who has a 3 and a half hour lunch break? If you had ever seen her you really would have known why McDonald's was so busy at that time of day!!!!

Anyway, she put us up for the night, only a night mind you, no more, no less. That left us with only a precious few hours to arrange a bus out of here, anywhere, I don't care as long as its not here were Jo's words. As the picture says, Jesus did save us, there was an available bus the next day and boy did we get it. We just had to fill the night with something to do. Well with nothing more than church after church after church we finally found a place with a license to sell a beer, I would call it a bar but it wasn't. It was more like a bottle shop with seats, just not that posh! We had a beer and left, it was that bad! At least we were saved by the fact that there was some decent TV programmes that night else I think we would have gone insane in this hell hole..........

Do NOT go here, I repeat do NOT go here!!!!!!!